Machine World Read online

  Xlur arrived to speak to us shortly after that, and everyone’s mood changed. At first, Imperator Turov did all the talking—or rather I should say, schmoozing. She was a natural, I had to give her that. For all the harsh treatment she could dish out on the head of a subordinate, she was nothing but love and biscuits when it came to talking to real brass.

  Chief Inspector Xlur was the final authority in Frontier 921. Thousands of star systems were under his direct management. He was a Mogwa, and his kind owned our local patch of stars.

  Physically, the Mogwa were spidery aliens with a central body mass that looked like a black widow’s thorax. Xlur had six limbs that operated as arms or legs interchangeably. Each of these limbs terminated with hands that could be used like feet or to manipulate objects.

  For all his power and position, I didn’t think Xlur liked his job much. He complained about it constantly.

  “These worlds of yours are called the Dark Worlds by the Mogwa,” his translator box rasped. “They are dreary and unpleasant. I find this fringe of cold, lonely planets depressing. In the Core, the countless nearby suns never allow one to fall into gloom. What you might term ‘night’ is to us a brilliant display of color from a dozen nearby stars, more beautiful even than our blazing days.”

  I noticed that Adjunct Leeson was giving me the stink-eye, as if he expected me to blurt out something. I avoided his stare. It was true that I wanted to suggest to Xlur that he should pack right up and head back to his shiny home planet, but I managed to hold my tongue and stand at attention. After all, I wasn’t born yesterday, and the cheap Chapter House alcohol had pretty much drained from my system by now.

  “Worse, there’s nothing in the way of culture out here,” Xlur continued, “nothing like the splendor of the Core Systems.”

  “We must apologize abjectly for our lack of amenities, Chief Inspector,” Turov said.

  She was good. She even sounded like she meant it.

  Besides Turov and Leeson, Graves was present. The four of us had all spoken to the squids the last time we’d made contact with them on Tech World—just hours before the violent “diplomatic incident” in question.

  “So,” Xlur said when he’d finished disparaging our backwater planet, “you told this renegade individual named Glide that he should leave Galactic space. When he refused, you took no action. But when he attacked the megahab at Tau Ceti, you destroyed his ship. Am I correct in these essentials?”

  “A masterfully condensed description of the event-sequence, your excellency,” Turov said.

  “I see. You realize that this places the Empire in a dangerous position? If the cephalopods decide to strike, our defensive forces are out of position.”

  We all looked uncomfortable.

  “We were hoping, sir,” Turov began, choosing her words with care, “that the fleet might soon be returning home again. It has been more than two years since—”

  “No,” Xlur said firmly. “The Battle Fleet will not return anytime soon. Eventually, of course, Mogwa ships will silver the skies of every cephalopod planet to cast down righteous revenge upon these barbaric invaders. But for now, you must find a way to manage on your own. Your task is to stop any incursions these creatures might attempt. As Enforcers, it is your duty to police this frontier province.”

  Turov licked her lips. “Hegemony is aware of this requirement?”

  “Naturally.”

  “And we’ve been provided with an expanded budget in order to meet your—?”

  “Imperator Turov,” Xlur interrupted sternly. “You step beyond your station. I’ve already discussed such matters with your superiors, and I have no intention of discussing them with you.”

  “I apologize profusely, Inspector. My curiosity got the better of me. I will not ask more on this—”

  “See that you don’t. I’m finished with my line of questions. My person shall now be escorted to the air car on the roof.”

  “At once, Inspector!”

  It was odd, watching Turov bow and scrape before a foreign dignitary. We knew that she’d always been like that, the sort that treated a superior like a god all the while crapping on her subordinates. But it was different to see her do it with an alien.

  Still, I had to admit, she’d handled this interview well. Xlur seemed satisfied with her answers, and I’d never been asked a direct question. That suited everyone just fine.

  When we reached the roof, Xlur complained bitterly that his air car wasn’t waiting there to whisk him away into space.

  That’s when I did what I’d been cautioned not to do: I opened my mouth.

  “Well sir, we don’t have an infinite number of air cars to go around on Earth,” I said. “Sometimes, we all have to wait our turn.”

  Xlur shuffled his bulk around and arranged his optical organs to study me.

  “What is this creature, and why is it addressing me?” he demanded.

  “That’s Adjunct McGill, Inspector,” Turov said quickly. “He’s one of our lowest-level officers. He’s present because you requested that all the personnel who were in contact with the cephalopods be available for questioning.”

  “Do I infer from your statements that this being had some direct contact with the barbarians?”

  “Well, yes…”

  Xlur lifted a wavering limb in my direction. “Being—McGill,” he said. “What did you say to the barbarians?”

  I squirmed. Everyone did. My mother always told me the best policy was honesty, but I’d never believed her. Still, I didn’t see any harm in answering forthrightly on this occasion.

  “All I did was answer their questions, sir.”

  Xlur shuffled a pace closer. “Then you confirm that you spoke to them directly? I wasn’t told this. I thought the being called Turov did all the talking, while the rest of you were mere witnesses. Turov, tell me, who is lying here? Must I request video feed and transcripts? I’d hoped to avoid that level of effort.”

  “Uh,” she said, looking very uncomfortable. “Sir, you must excuse me. I didn’t think it was significant, but McGill here did answer at least one question from the cephalopods directly.”

  “One question? What was it?”

  “They asked—” she began.

  “No!” boomed Xlur. He made a slashing motion toward her with one of his limbs. “I want this one to talk. The McGill-creature. Speak!”

  “Uh…well sir, it went like this,” I said. “The squids—that’s what we call them here, sir—the squids asked me about the bombing of their colony world. They wanted to know exactly how it happened.”

  “And what did you tell them?”

  “The truth, sir. I saw the bombing with my own eyes. The Nairbs did it with nine hell-burners. Every organic structure on that planet was broken down to component molecules within an hour of the bombing. It was a glorious demonstration of Imperial power.”

  While I’d been speaking, the air car had come down and landed behind Xlur. He ignored it and stayed focused on me. All around me, the other officers were looking at one another with increasing alarm.

  “I want you to be very precise, McGill-creature. You told the enemy that the Nairbs erased their colony?”

  I was unsure what the fuss was all about, but I pressed on as best I could. The other officers had white faces and gritted teeth. They didn’t seem to have much faith in me.

  “Uh…yes sir,” I said. “That’s how the bombing went, after all.”

  “Disaster,” Xlur said. “You’ve done incalculable damage.”

  “How so, sir?”

  “Silence.” He turned his baleful orbs on each of us in turn. “Are you all dedicated to your Empire?”

  “Of course we are,” Turov said. The others murmured in agreement. Only I didn’t join in.

  “Draw your sidearms!” Xlur ordered.

  My heart rate accelerated. I’d seen this sort of thing before. I purely expected this nasty alien to order my fellow officers to gun me down. They reached for their holsters and did as he or
dered, and I did the same. If they were going to fire-squad me, at least I’d go down with a gun in my hand.

  “You will all now self-execute!” Xlur commanded the group.

  We all blinked in surprise. Faces tight, the officers looked at one another in confusion and disbelief.

  “May we ask why, Chief Inspector?” Turov asked. All the blood had drained from her face, just as it had from the faces of the others.

  “Because you have involved the Empire in a war we do not need! Our diplomatic corps has been working hard to convince the cephalopods that humans were directly responsible for this disaster. Only when this creature spoke did I realize you gave them damning testimony disproving our premise. You informed them that representatives of the Empire chose to destroy their colony. They’ll never be satisfied with the destruction of your pathetic species now. They’ll continue the war, grinding further into our territory at a time when we can least afford the distraction.”

  Things suddenly clicked on in my brain as he said this. First off, I’d always wondered what had happened to the last “Enforcers” the Galactics had appointed to the post. By all accounts, they’d disappeared. Could it be that the true role of an “Enforcer” species along the Frontier was equivalent to that of “scapegoat”?

  “But Your Excellency,” I said, not fully understanding his reasoning. “Why do you want us to self-execute? Aren’t you better off leaving us to defend our world as best we can and maybe damage the squids further?”

  “A few humans will make no difference to the outcome. The enemy kingdom consists of three hundred worlds.”

  “If we make no difference, why should we be executed?”

  “It’s the principle of the thing,” Xlur said, drawing himself up taller and ruffling his limbs. “You brought this inconvenience down upon my person, and I will feel better if you’re expunged. Now, get on with it!”

  “Chief Inspector Xlur,” Turov said formally. “I request that a grievance be filed—”

  “There will be no grievances!” he roared at her. “That is for justice dispensed by Nairbs and other underlings. A Galactic Citizen, especially an Inspector such as myself, is not bound by bureaucratic nonsense. I demand that you all self-execute. If you do not, I will order this planet erased right immediately!”

  Shaken, we gripped our weapons with tight fingers and eyed one another.

  Graves moved first. Without a change in his expression, he put the muzzle of his gun under his chin.

  “I lived for Earth, and I die for her.”

  He shot himself and pitched forward on his face.

  Adjunct Leeson went next. He looked at me, shaking his head. He spoke through clenched teeth. “Fuck you, McGill!”

  Then he shot himself and fell on top of Graves.

  I looked down at the two of them, breathing hard. Xlur made a burbling sound. I wasn’t sure if he was laughing or farting, but either way, I didn’t like it.

  “This pleases me,” Xlur said. “Finish the process.”

  Turov released a hissing breath. I looked at her.

  “Why do you always make these things happen, McGill?” she asked.

  “It’s a gift, I guess.”

  “Well?” she demanded. “Do something to fix it!”

  I lifted my pistol. After all, as far as I was concerned, I’d just been given an order by a high-ranking officer.

  Without hesitation and with a steady hand, I shot Xlur right between the orbs. He flopped and died, making more of those farting sounds and bleeding blue ichor on the rooftop.

  -3-

  Xlur didn’t look any better in death than he had in life. In fact, I thought he looked a little worse. He definitely smelled bad—like rotten fruit.

  “Are you insane, McGill?” Turov screeched at me.

  “You told me to do something.”

  “You can’t fix things by shooting a Galactic! He’ll remember all of this when they revive him upon his ship! You’ve gotten us all permed at the very least, if not our entire planet!”

  “Don’t worry,” I told her, “I’ve got a plan. Hand me the Galactic key, will you?”

  She hesitated, and I was honestly surprised by that. Could she be so greedy and paranoid? Even when faced with the destruction of the entire human race, she didn’t want to trust me with her most prized possession—not even for a minute.

  “Hurry, we don’t have much time!” I said, holding out my hand and making a grabbing motion.

  She slapped the key into my palm with a snarl. It was a seashell-shaped device that had powers that were belied by its mundane appearance. Essentially, it operated like a skeleton key, allowing the user to break security systems. Only Galactics were supposed to have them, and as far as I knew, Imperator Turov was the only human who possessed one of these highly illegal devices.

  Quickly, I located Xlur’s tapper. It was embedded in the cooling rubbery flesh of one of his appendages. I touched it with the key, which bypassed any passcodes he might have set and opened the settings menu.

  Fortunately, I was able to read the symbols his system displayed. Galactic technology was designed to be used by a wide range of beings on thousands of worlds. Interfaces had to be usable by almost anyone and therefore followed universal standards.

  Working fast, I performed the tricks that Natasha had showed me a year or so back and erased the most recent copy of Xlur’s mental-backup.

  The Mogwa’s tapper operated pretty much the same way ours did. Every few minutes it recorded changes to the neural network in the host’s brain and uploaded them to the nearest relay station. This often worked even after death as the tappers didn’t stop operating right away unless they were destroyed. That’s why we could remember our death experiences right up to and including the gory details at the finish.

  But the upload didn’t work instantaneously. It was a transmission of periodic snapshots. It took time to send the data, and the tappers had to share bandwidth with other traffic. With any luck…

  “I think I did it,” I said after fooling with the interface for about a minute. “His latest mind-snap was in the upload queue already, but I just erased it. Hurry up, help me.”

  I grabbed one of Xlur’s limbs in each hand and pulled.

  “Help you do what?”

  “We’ve got to get Xlur’s body into the air car.”

  Grimacing, she helped me carry the flopping alien corpse to the air car and shoved it into the passenger seat. The driver looked more than stunned.

  “I can’t deliver this, sir!” she told the Imperator, horrified. “They’ll perm me for sure when I get up to the ship—”

  Turov fired two shots. The first blasted a large hole in the driver’s arm, destroying her tapper. Before she could even scream, the second shot blew the driver’s brains all over the upholstery.

  “What the hell…?” I demanded.

  “The driver has to be in the pilot’s seat for this to be believable. Don’t look at me that way—I’ll have her revived and debriefed later.”

  This woman was ruthless. I shook my head. I didn’t like including an innocent bystander, but I knew Turov was right.

  Part of me was impressed that she’d managed to grasp the essence of my plan and improvise improvements so quickly. Most people just stood around gawking when I pulled stunts like this.

  We loaded up the bodies, and I made sure the air car was in full manual mode. I nudged the stick forward just a bit, and it drifted to the edge, nosed over, and dropped down the side of the building like a sled.

  We stood there side by side, watching it spin and blossom into flames a few hundred meters downslope.

  “Too bad about the pilot,” I said.

  “Are you kidding me? That’s all you have to say? You almost got our world erased again!”

  “Didn’t you hear what Xlur said?” I asked. “We’re screwed anyway. The Galactics are out there talking to the squids, telling them that we’re the troublemakers. We pulled the same blame-game on them back on Tech World. Re
member?”

  I could see by the look on Turov’s face she did remember. We’d been together when she’d told the squids that we were an independent and neutral entity. That we weren’t part of the Empire proper, but rather mercenaries who worked for them on a for-hire basis. The purpose of that lie had been to deflect the squids into attacking the Empire rather than Earth. Apparently, the Mogwa had come up with the same idea.

  Both the Mogwa and Earth had tried to put the blame on the other side. I had a feeling the squids weren’t really going to care. When they came for us, they weren’t going to be choosy. They were going to kill everyone who got in their way.

  Turov holstered her sidearm and put her gloved hands on her hips. “What are we going to do now?”

  “We’ll report this as an accident. With luck, Xlur will be annoyed but too busy to seek petty revenge. The bigger question is what the squids will do next.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” she said, rubbing her temples. “What are we going to tell Hegemony? They have to know about this. They have to know that Earth is being abandoned by the Empire. Three hundred star systems—isn’t that what he said?”

  “You’re talking about the size of the squid kingdom? Yeah, I think that’s right.”

  “I just don’t believe this,” she said, shaking her head.

  Walking away from the wreckage and the fallen bodies of Graves and Leeson, I headed for the elevator. Turov followed. We were both a little dazed.

  Emergency flying vehicles were converging on our location. I thought it might be a good idea if we weren’t around to have to answer any embarrassing questions when they got here. The emergency people didn’t need any details as far as I was concerned. They’d queue up the revives and, unless a hold was put on any one individual, all the victims of this “accident” would be returned to life soon enough.

  When we were in the elevator car riding downward, Turov put out her hand toward me and gave me an expectant look.